I did not finish Titane. To say that this movie was not for me would be like me saying that sucking off ten dudes at an NRA convention wouldn’t be my first choice of how to spend a Saturday morning. It’s accurate, but fails to convey the speed and terror with which I would sprint in the opposite direction. In the center of the Venn diagram of both of these activities, i.e. watching this movie and blowing conservatives, sits the question: “why would I do this to myself?”
It is not to say that others wouldn’t find joy in such activities, but I am simply not among them. As such, I will not rate this film. It contributed to my horror journey by letting me know that some shit is just too weird for me. I am not cool enough to embark on a journey where a woman fucks a car and is then impregnated by said car. I no longer care about who she’s killed, how she’s done it, what she’ll do next – any of it. You’ve lost me. Good luck on your future endeavors and your baby car children.
I will say that I’m glad this is the second Julia Ducournau film that I’ve watched, because if this was the first, then I would have steered clear of Raw like the plague. And I fucking loved Raw, so there’s that. Fuck the French, I guess 🇭🇹
